3 ways to be more confident
For most of us there is that thing that we would quite like to do but lack of confidence is holding us back. Whether it be getting in front of the camera, pursuing that idea or even raising our hands in meetings.
During many of the conversations I have with amazing women just like you, confidence is always high up on the agenda.
So today, I’m sharing my top 3 ways to feel more confident.
1) It isn’t really about you.
Often in the situations we are encountering, we have made up a story about what we can and cannot do, and these are mainly based on what other people are thinking about us.
Looking at the bigger picture and realising that it isn’t about you can help you feel better. Everyone is walking around in their own bubble of stuff.
Your duty is to do you, and as long as you are not being mean (which I know none of you are), then how it lands is none of your concern.
Realising you are not alone and that other people probably feel the same also helps. Everyone has their own stuff they are dealing with. You cannot stop what other people think. And nor is it your job to try. Once you really believe this, it sets you free to be who you want to be.
Write that shit down. Get it out of your head and onto paper and marvel at how different things seem. You will find yourself writing down the stories and beliefs you have created that are in turn fuelling your lack of confidence. Reading it back allows logic to start to kick in. Start by writing down some of the big beliefs around your lack of confidence. And then alongside that write down what makes them untrue. Dig deep.
3) Start a brag list
You can either turn to pen and paper for this one, or if it work for you, record yourself saying it.
The whole premise of a brag list lies in the fact that it is far too easy for us to reel off the things we haven’t done, or the ways we aren’t good enough. This list is all about recognising the good things. I guarantee there are plenty. And don’t forget to recognise the seemingly small as well. Whether you are keeping tiny humans alive, looking after loved ones, closing multi-million pound deals or helping people everyday through your work. They all count. Everyone should have a brag list.
With everything I’m doing, lots of people have commented that I seem so confident these days – all of the video, putting myself out there and sharing personal experiences and insights.
I can see why that is the case. But things didn’t used to look like this.
These top tips have got me to a stage where confidence isn’t even a concept I really think about.
Yep, I still feel super scared about things but it is detached from the notion of confidence, It is just getting on and doing it.
Also it just shows how much of it is in our heads. Once we do the work on ourselves things don’t seem as daunting as they once were.
This time last year the mere thought of videos, speaking engagements and generally being visible had me ‘almost’ running for the hills.
It was partly because I was out of alignment (I wasn’t in the right business) and secondly because I was just so damned self conscious.
Now, not so much. I actually enjoy and seek out those opportunities but inevitably new scary things come up. I embrace the fear on a daily basis and then carry on regardless and its never going to stop me going for what I want.
Granted I didn’t get to this stage alone. It took support, a community, a whole lot of reading, learning, rewiring, unlearning and reframing.
If you want some help along the way.