Creating space when life is busy
My need to create space is a constant ‘thing’ in my life. Ever since I became a mama and space suddenly became something that I acknowledged in ways I never had before. Namely the lack of it.
Ironically, it is also one of the things I love the most about being a mother. From the moment I found out I was pregnant and as my belly started to swell, the closeness I felt to this being I was growing was beyond words.
Then of course she entered the world and the closeness was cemented in a way that far extends the newborn attachment.
This girl has a piece of my heart.
So as I sit here in here the park writing these words and leaning into my urge to create space in the most expansive way I can, surrounded by nothing trees and grass as far as my eyes can see. Enjoying these moments before the nursery run and the organised chaos ensues.
As a mama, space is at a premium.
From space to use the loo on my own, to space to shower alone, never mind physical space in my home, handbag and even space in the bed can be at a premium if the toddler decides to set-up camp in it.
For me, creating space is not just in your wardrobe, the kid’s toy box or living room. But the space in my mind, to THINK and space in my life to RECEIVE.
As busy women, playing multiple roles with juggling the name of the game and attempting to keep all of the balls in the air. Space for ourselves is often what loses out. The often intangible nature of it means that it is so easily swallowed up, spat out and found shrivelled up in the corner.
In this modern world, we have an almost perverse pride in busy-ness. In being rushed off our feet and filling every.single.moment.
Yet space is so incredibly important. Because within this space we get to be WITH ourselves and most importantly to HEAR ourselves.
Retaining and in some cases (and especially mine) maintaining our sanity.
It took me way too long time to allow myself to enjoy pockets of nothingness, to lose the guilt and to learn it is not wasted time. It is space.
And the most exciting thing about creating space? We are allowing the magic to happen.
Whether it is rediscovered dreams or unexplored potential, you are suddenly awoken to creative outlets you want to visit, learning you want to embark on or career changes you feel the need to make.
From the big to the small and everything in between, without creating that space then none of it is possible.
It is all about giving the energy room to flow and allowing amazing things will happen.
We all want to be the best versions of ourselves for those we love. And creating space to THINK, BE, DO and HAVE is a surefire way to get you there without driving yourself nuts.
As women we are natural nurturers. Always giving and putting your stuff (needs, wants, desires) firmly down at the bottom of the list to be swallowed up by EVERYONE and EVERYTHING else.
That’s all well and good I hear you cry but I simply don’t have the time. And yes, I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Creating space is heavily wrapped around time BUT it is more about how intentional you are with your time rather than how much time you actually have.
Admittedly it might sound like a contradiction, creating space sounds like such a fluid thing but if you are going to create space on any real level, then you have to be intentional in doing so.
So now it is time to start giving yourself the gift of space, stop allowing the veil of busyness to rule you and take action by focusing on you.
Here are 10 tried and tested tips for carving out space when you feel like there isn’t any:
1, Get outdoors. Being in nature and the physical feeling of space is magnified by the mind ten-fold and beats being indoors any day.
2, Do a digital declutter. How many email newsletters do you sign-up for? How many unopened emails are clogging up your inboxes. How many toxic and negative ‘friends’ are polluting your newsfeeds? Cull Cull Cull. It is an act of both honouring and protecting your space.
3, Wake-up early. If you have a baby that enjoys night-time partying, I know this sounds ludicrous so you have permission to ignore this one and/or virtually roll your eyes. If not, read Miracle Mornings, it is a great place to start.
4, Stop watching crap tv. Like really. How much time is lost by watching brain numbing shows? Reclaim your time and use it to do stuff that feeds your soul.
5, Write it out. Journalling is amazing. It changed my life. Getting those thoughts out of your mind and onto paper is therapeutic beyond measure. Make it a daily practice.
6, Go to bed early. Do this. Your body will thank-you for it.
7, Meditate. It is described by some as a workout for your mind. I find it more a massage for my mind. Amazing!
8, Schedule space in. Then it will happen. Simples.
9, Reframe self-care. Yes, a weekly spa day would be amazing, hell can I just live in a spa full-time? But, alas no that is not possible, at least not in my world..yet! So for now, a long hot relaxing bath with a book is what self care often looks like for me, and I LOVE it. You do what you can within the space you have. The key is to reframe the way you view it. It is not just a walk, it is creating space and so on.
10, Declutter your clutter. Whether you KonMarie, Feng Shui or just have a good old spring clean, the act of simply tidying up and sorting your shit out is unparalleled. Tidy home, Tidy mind.